Wow it’s been so long since I’ve written in this blog. A lot has been going on and I decided to take some time to continue to work on myself and where I want to be in life. You see “rebuilding from within” is a process and it is one that is never finished. It is an everyday commitment and one that I am wholly committed to. Anyway, during that time I have struggled a lot with my Crohn’s disease. I had been off medication for months and was only able to get back on medication and see a doctor last Tuesday. The medication I was on was not working and I could never get in touch with my doctor’s office to schedule an appointment and see about getting on some new medication (I found out from my new doctor that the old doctor was fired!). Finally, I was able to get my regular doctor to refer me to a GI but that appointment was months away. So I had to do without medication for about four months. That was a very interesting time for me. I had some good days but they were mostly bad; lots of pain and frequent trips to the bathroom. But through it all God was there for me and he kept my mind in a perfect peace that only He can offer when one goes through something like this. My faith and trust in Him has only grown throughout this entire process. During the time of no medication, my Crohn’s was allowed to run wild and it took its toll on my body. I wasn’t able to exercise at all. Even eating healthy did nothing to help. My energy levels went way down and it was all I could do to just make it to work everyday and perform everyday functions. Finally, about two weeks ago I got the idea to start taking a probiotic again. In the past they had made my stomach hurt, but I decided to take them every other day like I had done my iron pills and see if that worked. It did and I began to get my energy back. With my newfound energy I was more than ready to get back outside and pound the pavement with my usual running routines. My excitement was quickly turned into disappointment and sadness as I realized I couldn’t run as long or as far as I used to. I would have to build back up to where I used to be all over again. I was depressed for about 30 minutes until I told myself that my body was not going to get back to where it used to be by me having a pity party. There was only one way to reach the fitness level I used to be at and that was to get out there and get it done. In just a week and a half I’m pretty much back where I left off and it feels GREAT!

But I said all of that to get to the real point of this post. During that time period where I had no medication and I began to work on myself again by getting and staying close to God, I came to a realization. Crohn’s does not define me and I shouldn’t let it. I can’t wake up everyday letting Crohn’s and its symptoms determine how I live my life, what I’m going to say, or what I’m going to do. My pastor began a series this year called “What Would You Do if You Were Not Afraid?” So I often ask myself that question. What would I do if I were not afraid of Crohn’s? I love to be healthy and fit, but I don’t want to be healthy and fit because I have Crohn’s. Then my pastor reminded me today that I am an AUTHOR! Yeah, I totally forgot. Or I made myself forget because I was afraid. Yeah I’m afraid to be an author because I’m afraid I will fail and look like a fool. I’m afraid my Crohn’s will keep me from being successful. I’m afraid I will be successful. Through his words of encouragement today, I’ve decided to STOP BEING AFRAID! Since I’m not afraid anymore the focus of my blog will shift a little. I will still talk about Crohn’s and exercise but I won’t talk about it controlling my life or how I use exercise and healthy eating to control Crohn’s. I will talk about how Crohn’s has empowered me and changed my outlook on life for the better and how exercise and healthy eating should be a part of everyone’s lifestyle whether you have a disease or not. But most importantly I will talk about my book, Warriors of Light: Destiny Revealed. It is the first book in a series of which I have started writing the second book. I took a break from writing the second book, but because I am not afraid to be an author anymore I will pick it back up and finish it. God willing, it will be published by the end of this year. I challenge you today to ask yourself, “What Would You Do if You Were Not Afraid?”